Have you ever thought about the wider impact of our negative self-talk? Who else it could be affecting?
I'm going to assume, probably not. Me neither. I hadn't really realised how much of an impact it's had on all of us over the years, over the generations.
I'm not talking about the beliefs that hold us back from achieving our dreams. I'm talking about the way we speak to ourselves when we look in the mirror.
I realise this isn't true for everyone but I do believe that it's deeply ingrained in our society that it's not seen as 'normal' to speak to ourselves like we would the people we love.
For example, when was the last time you said out loud 'I look beautiful', yet I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate to tell someone else they do.
Or if you have the courage to post a post-workout pic of yourself on social media, if anyone asked you about it you might say out loud that you thought it was cringey even though you might not fully believe that but it's because that's what society has taught us.
It's almost seen as egotistical or that we are arrogant.
We have this inner belief that we shouldn't speak to ourselves with the same love and compassion that we offer others.
Why? I believe it's been subconsciously passed down over the generations. Whether that's from your parents, caregivers, other adults in your life and the media.
I believe the media has a huge part to play in this, especially if you were growing up in the 90's. No one was ever good enough, every single thing about a persons appearance was critisised so we grew up believing that our flaws were imperfections and they stood out to us more than anything else. Making it hard to unsee them and see the good things about ourselves instead.
But we need to be the change. We owe it to our kids and our kids kids to do the work on ourselves and start speaking to ourselves with kindness, with love, with the affection that we deserve. So our kids do the same.
Wouldn't it be great to bring up a generation who had so much love and respect for themselves, so much inner belief that they didn't end up settling for someone who didn't deserve their love, and could go on to achieve all the things they wanted and knew they could achieve.
Self-love is just one part of a bigger picture but it impacts our self-esteem, our self-confidence, our self-respect and our self-doubt in so many different ways.
I get it though, it's not as easy as just flipping the switch. There's usually a lot of inner work that needs to happen to be able to make that shift. We need to change the stories that we've been telling ourselves for years, which obviously doesn't happen overnight.
If this is something you've been battling with and you're ready to change, please get in touch.
Of course, this is just my opinion so I would love to know your take on this too.
If you agree, let's be the start of this change. Let's do the work so that we are comfortable in speaking to ourselves this way first, then let's teach our kids that this is the only way.
Love and kindness over criticism and negativity.
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